Be Proud Of Who You Are, Not Ashamed Of How Someone Else Sees You.

Something I struggled a long time to come to terms with.Throughout school, self esteem became more and more of a burning issue for me. The main reason, I was born with a mole on the side of my face. Now I know some of you may think, yeah so what? People call them beauty spots, right? Wrong. For years, I got pulled apart for it and I despised it. 

It was never really a problem until Year 6, when 2 girls who were my supposed 'best friends' constantly made it a big deal. My mum used to come in to school to stick up for me and address the problem to the teachers (as Mum's did in those days!) The next day, I found my in an awkward meeting with the teacher and 2 petty girls, throwing the word 'sorry' around and smirking like it meant nothing. I always wanted to be in with the more popular girls so maybe that's the price I had to pay. Of course, they still whispered, as kids did back in the day, but whatever I was starting a new chapter.. Secondary School.

A new era had started.. The first day of term in an daunting, unfamiliar school.  Everyone is so naive, very shy (with the odd, outspoken joker thrown in) and each person has their eye on who they potentially want to be friends with. I thought as it was a new school and everyone is maturing into young adults, I won't have to be so concious of my face. I couldn't be more wrong.

You all go through the phase in school of finding the first 'crush' or boy you think you fancy in class. Mine was in Year 7. Long story short.. he was in my tutor and I went bright red every time he said a word to me. MEGA AWKS. One day, we got sat together in Music, and although none of this is relevant now, all I remember were his words..

'You're a pretty girl Tania, but that mole on your face ruins it..'

..Not only had he pointed it out, but loads of other people in the class (including my closest friend) heard and gasped, giggling under their breath. I was completely mortified. Everyone in my new tutor thought it too. A new hell had started all over again, but this time it was people I wanted to make an impression on. Needless to say, I didn't have a crush on him after that! I felt like crying into the corner I was sat, but managed to keep it cool. As if I thought no-one would notice.. After all, it must have so obviously stuck out like a sore thumb. 

Months went on and I started wearing my hair down. I got it cut so it was shaped around my face. I'd sit with my hands resting on my face so I would do anything in my power to hide my 'bad side'. It made making friends really hard because I didn't know who I could trust or who was judging me on some stupid feature. It got to the point where people would talk to me and I'd actually notice their eyes looking down at it. Insecure wasn't even the word.

Eventually, I asked my mum what I could do about it, all she kept saying was 'Don't listen to stupid remarks, you're beautiful' or 'It's a beauty spot, loads of people have them' I just thought.. Really? Do they? It wouldn't have been as bad if there was more than one on my face, but it was just there, sitting on my pale complexion for people to stare. She found me a concealer stick and stuck a bit of powder over it and bam.. it was basically gone. I suddenly had this new found confidence, if you like. 

I had a solid friendship group that I stuck with for a few years, finally felt accepted for who I was and then one day, I was off sick. When I came back, the people I was friends at the time were unsubtly talking in the playground after the bell went and one after the other kept saying ''No, you ask her'' ... '' No, why don't you?'' WHAT?!! THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME. Then one of them spurs the other on and says ''*insert name here* wondered if you were off school to get your mole removed?'' No 'Are you feeling better now?' All they cared about was their silly bet, and all I cared about was melting into the tarmac with embarrassment.

I went through many different groups at school & some dramatic style changes. I struggled with depression for many different reasons, (which I barely even understood) weight gain and that terrible rebellious teenage phase too. You get your typical bitchiness, but if anything else was going to be said, I think I'd rather not have known. If I had heard any negative comments someone had aimed in my direction, I'd immediately distance myself, in fear of them picking on my insecurities and using them against me. 

Of course, in school nothing is ever that simple. I'd get abusive, group MSN messages from my so-called friends, throwing immature insults with exaggerated letters and 'mole' disguised in it. Wow, that's originality for ya folks.. *sarcastic thumbs up* Better still, I'd be sitting in Year 11 Maths and I'd hear them whispering their own inside jokes, all because I'd chosen not to associate with such horrible people. All they were doing were proving all the reasons I didn't want to hang out with them any more. It got to the point where I'd sometimes have lunch by myself, because trusting anyone was totally impossible (cue the scene in Mean Girls where she's eating her sandwich on the toilet) ..Kidding, it wasn't that dramatic! 

I failed to understand how people could be vile, when I never gave them a legitimate reason to be so hateful, besides wanting their poor excuse for a friendship. I'm not saying in any way, shape or form that I was perfect and never made mistakes, because I've made loads. But never something that would personally or publicly shame/hurt a person based on their appearance.

I got along with pretty much everyone (being a friendly person) and did have a few really nice, accepting friends to be around and sit with lunchtimes, but everyone was assigned to their groups and who wants to be around a lonely year 11 girl that wanders around the school grounds, with a million insecurities and a bright green iPod, wondering what gig she wants to book next? Who knows? 
I did have some really good times at school too, and some very memorable moments with people I least expected, but the bad definitely outweighed the good, for a time that's meant to be 'the best years of your life' wasn't really all it was cracked up to be. 

I came out with decent enough grades, but leaving school was probably the best thing that ever happened. I was probably the only person rejoicing at Prom instead of crying on the dance floor to 'Robbie Williams - Angels' just like the next person. 

As I've grown older, I realised that people care less and less about it, and some don't even notice. Although I still cover it up (1. Because I choose to & 2. For years, it's been a religious part of my make-up routine) I've definitely learnt to accept that having a mole on the side of your face REALLY isn't a big deal. Even though I still don't like it being there, I feel much more comfortable in my own skin and talking about it with people.
I hope one day I'll eventually stop covering it up but that'll take a lot of guts and getting used to. 

Goals for 2015: Step outside the comfort zone.

So, if you've ever been/are in a situation similar to this, please NEVER change for anyone (unless it's for the better of course!) Whoever is trying to bring you down is putting themselves below you, and shaming someone else won't turn you into a better person - whether that be publicly or behind a screen. Bullies don't deserve the satisfaction of getting a reaction. Everyone has their personal flaws, whether it be appearance or personality but most are stitched together with good intentions. The people who truly care will love you no matter what and see past everything you once hated about yourself.

Once people know your weaknesses no longer affect you, they can't hold them against you.

Review: LUSH - 'Granny Takes A Dip' Bath Bomb

Umm.. Oops, I accidentally on purpose slipped into LUSH again yesterday..twice! I could spend days on end in that place, yet still find something to be blown away by. Anyone who doesn't love it must be crazy not to! Maybe I am just an oddball, but later in the day when I returned, the 'Sakura' Bath Ballistic I wrote about last week had completely sold out! Maybe Londoners like that spring kinda thing! Each to their own I guess!

I bought a lot of different bits in there, so I'm going to individually review them as & when I use them - that way, it's not as crammed into one post :) 
(mainly bath bombs/melts.. sorry not sorry!)

Anyway, tonight's bath consisted of 'Granny Takes A Dip'.. (not literally, I didn't decide I wanted to jump in the bath with my Nan!!) 

At first, I wasn't massively taken aback by this. It looked AMAZING and didn't seem to smell all that great (it actually did resemble a grannyish scent a little bit!) but I wanted to take the plunge by trying something different. The colours drew me into buying this the most, as I had umm'ed and arr'ed about getting it in previous visits. 

Once I put in in the bath, it blew my mind. Quite honestly, I actually stood and watched it fizz around in the water (with a beaming smile on my face) for a good few minutes.. (how sad is that!) It basically makes a rainbow in your bath and eventually turns pink! Definitely one of the more exciting bath bombs I have used, by far!

It's a mixture of spicy but a very tangy, citrusy smells. You really notice the lemon oils in this, almost as soon as you sit in the bath. It leaves your skin feeling smooth and silky soft which is something I really like, having quite dehydrated skin. I felt instantly calm & relaxed sitting in the bath and almost fell asleep! Perfect if you've had a long day at work, wanting to unwind, or if you just want a quirky addition to your bath! 

I really liked this and will definitely buy it again at some point! :)

Anyone got any favourites from Lush or is there any other bath bits you'd recommend?! 

All Things Lush!

Recently, my love for Lush has started to become a slight obsession. I've become quite the enthusiast.
I'm almost certain they have some kind of potion that drifts out of the shop and instantaneously drags you in at an uncontrollable force. Their products are so intriguing, which gives me so much more initiative to want to step out of my comfort zone to try something new.
The one section I always make a bee-line for, is the bath bombs. I'm sure 90% of you do too. Lets face it, who doesn't love a good bath?! 

Here's some stuff old and new which I thought I'd have a natter about!

Love Lettuce Fresh Face Mask

So I wanted to start with this, as I am not really one for your average packet face mask. More often than not,  I find packet face masks very claustrophobic and difficult to remove, resulting in never using them but this is the perfect blend of ingredients to relax you and work your skin in one. 
If you have an oily t-zone then I highly recommend this product. It balances out your skin tone with a light exfoliant and leaves you with brighter, cleaner looking skin. 
This mask sits on your skin more than sets, so really it's the best of both worlds.

I recommend putting this on your face before a bath because..
 1. The heat will make the components work much better! 
 2. It has lavender as a key  ingredient/scent so this leaves you feeling extra relaxed.
Alternatively, you could use it before going in the shower and wash it off right at the end,  as it's meant to be left on for a good 10-15 minutes.

This worked really well with my skin and I noticed a difference almost straight away!
This is one of many in their amazing face mask range, each adapting to individual skin types.

Bubblegum & Popcorn Lip Scrub

(Excuse the state of them, I've had them quite a while!) 

Okay, these may sound a little bit pricey but they're honestly worth every penny. 
They taste absolutely delicious, and you literally can eat it!!
All you need is a tiny bit on your finger, rub it into the dry/ dead skin on your lips and lick it off, leaving your lips so soft - perfect if you are wanting to apply lipstick with an even smoother look.
Admittedly, I was a little uneasy of the fact that you lick dead skin off your lips, but after trying it, it wasn't anything as gross it sounds!
I wouldn't advise anyone with badly cut/chapped lips uses this, as it can sting.. Unless you are very gentle. Definitely made that mistake the other day! 

One word of warning, make sure you get all the sugar off from your lips and around your mouth, or it can look like you've just eaten a REALLY sugary doughnut, and we all know that's not a good look (unless you're into that of course!)

Christmas Eve Bubble Bar

I KNOW it's not Christmas any more, nor was it in January, but I just had to pick this up and give it a try! 

Little did I actually realise until after these photos were taken, that this is actually a crescent moon. I genuinely thought it was a blue and yellow blob type thing. (There is no hope..) It smelt absolutely delicious, just that Lush type smell! You know after a while when you've smelt so many and they all smell the same..? Well, that happened, but this was the most distinctive scent. Anyway, so this goes for any Lush Bubble Bar, crumble under a hot, running tap and voila.. bubbles!

It's a bubble bar/ bath bomb rolled into one which makes this 10x more appealing. I wasn't really sure on how it turned the bath a icky, green colour but I have honestly never felt so good after getting out a bath. There were loads of natural oils in this too, which made my skin SO silky, which is great for dry skin or if you just want to feel soft!

Unfortunately though, if you want to get your hands on this you'll have to wait a good.. 10 months?!
Unless you're lucky enough to find one straying on the sale stand that is!

Sakura Bath Ballistic

I was really excited about using this one, but it didn't really hit the spot for me. The colours really drew me in when buying this, so much so I thought something magical would happen when I put it in the bath. Needless to say, it didn't. It left a slight, pink tint to the bubbles, which faded almost instantly, and that was it.

It says on their website that this has a very spring scent to it, and that's exactly how I would describe it. I would not associate this with winter whatsoever, which also put me off slightly. 

Something I may need to re-try when it starts to get warmer outside. The product smells great, but it's something I probably wouldn't buy again. If you're into extravagant coloured baths like me, this is probably not the one for you. 

Think Pink Bath Ballistic

I've left this one until the end because you always have to save the best until last, right?!
This Bath Bomb has been my favourite for way over a year now, so maybe I'm biased, but I have to say this is probably one of my Top 3 Lush products!  It smells very floral and quite sweet, but not over powered by either scent. Sometimes, if something is too sweet, it's too much and slightly sickly.

This makes your bath pink within seconds and the best part about it is, it has tiny bits of heart shaped, rice paper confetti which floats around and slowly dissolves. It also has components in it to naturally relax you and make your feel great.
For full effect, I'd say not to use bubble bath so you can really embrace it! 
I will continue buying these until Lush stop making them.. which is hopefully never!
100% BUY IT.

Anyone else like Lush or recommend anything from there I haven't mentioned?! I'd be very open to suggestions! :)

Tania x
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